Update from Denny

Open forum for regional discussion. (extension of the Information Search page for off topic & personal discussion)
c ships

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by c ships »

Denny and family we our sending our condolences to you respectively. I had followed your posts and prayed for you. My mom is in hospice care right now with days to live. Lots of tears being shed. We just want peace and her suffering to end. We know how you feel. Thank you for sharing your stories, it helps bring comfort to others and we hope brings comfort to you and your family as your not alone. Remembering Mom with happy memories. I will cherish. Our deepest sympathy to you Denny and family. Respectively Andy n Linda. Wisconsin.
Howard Sprague

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Howard Sprague »

What a touching and heartfelt post, Denny. Thank you so much for sharing that with us all.

The days ahead will get better, my friend. I hope that you are healing and find your way back to the river my friend. Keep your chin up and know that better days are ahead of you and you will soon be at 500 visits to the river. I also hope that in honor of your dear mom you can find it in your heart to start up on your stories again as I and many others were enjoying them immensely. Take care my friend.
Denny

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Denny »

Hey everyone just to let you all know that if you wish to do so, you may sign my Mother's Guest book and leave any type of message or wishes for both my family and I at anytime. You can find the obituary on her by going to Wujek-Calcaterra & Sons Inc. I believe it is and eventually after doing a search, you hopefully should be able to find it there. Just to give you all a quick note of things, as you can imagine it was very hard and difficult and still is today as I especially struggle at times and I also have breakdown moments as you also might expect as it will take a long time to get over losing her but, I know in time the pain does and will go away but you never truly get over losing a loved one so close and dear to you as your parents because you only get one father and mother in life and when one or both are gone it is one of the hardest things to endure but the love that our parents show onto us is one of the many memories that we all must keep within our hearts as so they are in us so we are always in them as well. When we met at our parish church last week and talked to the priest to finalize things, we still needed to have someone do my Mom's euology for her and as you might expect my two older brothers just couldn't come to terms with that decision. I think that some sort of spirits if you will came to me last week as I just had this vision in my mind that I could do it and visionalized how. So after sitting and listening to each of my brothers talk, I therefore told them "I will do this as I feel it is my time and obligation to do so and to so something for my Mom and to give back to her everything that she had ever did for me!" It was then decided by my family and friends that I would deliver my Mom's eulogy for her however, never ever doing this and not being an accustomed speaker I was very nervous and I wanted to do this right in the worst way. After talking it over with family and friends their response was "You don't worry about a thing as you will do great and just fine and to remember to speak from your heart and everything will be just fine afterward and you will do fine as well!" So, I talked about my Mom and delivered a very touching, heartfelt and warm final tribute to her and at the end I dedicated both a song and poem for my Mom. The song was from an Irish Singer named Daniel O'Donnell if anyone has ever seen or heard of him before? My Mom and I ironically went to see him live in concert near our home in 2013 and this was my gift to her for all she's done for me. One of his most popular hymn that he sings at the ending of his concerts is "How Great Thou Art" and he sings it just absolutely beautiful. I was hoping to use that song for my Mom but, unfortunately I could not find the song on any of the CDs that I had. So, I finally found "Wind Beneath My Wings" and that is what I chose and dedicated to her. If anyone has ever heard or listened to that song before, I don't think I need to say more or tell you how emotional that song is to anyone. I was also chosen to be one of her paul bearers as well and bottom line is all of my family told me "Denny, you made your parents especially your Mom proud of you and that your Mom and Dad will forever be proud no matter what you do and whereever life's journey may take you!" It was just so comforting to me hearing those words from my family as I always knew that I made my parents proud of me no matter what I did in life. My family has also said "Don't be afraid to reach out for help along with friends and neigbors as well because that is what we're here for!" So I have contact numbers so I am okay and everyone has also told me "Don't you worry as you will be well taken care of from now on and forever and my family is right as I have a great and wonderful family of aunts, uncles and cousins but just as important I have two great and wonderful brothers and we are always there for one another and I also have many great friends and neighbors including many of you here on boatnerd as well. You don't know how comforting it is for me to have friends and folks like you all to help get me through this and the hard and difficult times and days ahead. Of course the holidays this year will be the most difficult as I know I will get through it somehow and special days like her birthday, along with my parents anniversary and their passing dates will always be difficult days but I know I will get through it somehow. Thanks again to everyone on this board that have sent special prayers and wishes along with your comments as well as all of your encouraging words and faith have been a huge uplifting for me and I cannot thank you all for the love that you've shown for me here. As far as going out to the river is concerned, YES most definitely I will continue that but at this time though my family is recommending I just take things slow and easy at first as the last 8 weeks with my mom in the hospital and the constant running back and forth has just been brutal on my family and I as you might expect so we are slowly trying to unwind and get our lives back in order as best as we can. The main thing is at least now my Mom is finally at peace forver and reunited with my Dad as well and that she will never ever be in any pain or for that matter suffering ever again. Thanks again to all of you.
Paul A
Posts: 428
Joined: June 28, 2010, 12:30 pm

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Paul A »

My condolences Denny, I'm very sorry to hear. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Rob W

Re: Denny

Unread post by Rob W »

I would also like to offer my condolences Denny, may the lord be with you at this time and guide her home.
cloahsark

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by cloahsark »

Very sad to hear, my condolences .
Pazzo

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Pazzo »

Denny, in this tough time, know that my condolensces and those of countless others are being poured out to you. I regret to hear about such news and I extend my thoughts, wishes and prayers so that you may live in hope and memory of the legacy your mother leaves behind.
Bookworm

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Bookworm »

Denny,
Keeping you and your family in thought and prayer as you go through this time of sorrow.
Dawn
Darryl

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Darryl »

Denny, Very sorry to hear of your mother's passing. Let me express my sympathies at this time. Please take care. I understand, for my dear Irish Mom passed away in January, and too, join my father. D.
mopar tim
Posts: 151
Joined: December 6, 2014, 6:03 pm
Location: Port Huron

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by mopar tim »

Sorry to hear about your mom Denny will be sending thoughts and prayers your way. Hope you are doing ok and hang in there Denny.
MattJ

Denny

Unread post by MattJ »

My Condolences to you Denny on the passing of your Mother!
Matt Jones
garbear

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by garbear »

Denny-So sorry to read of your Mom's passing. It is a difficult time to go thru. I lost my Dad in 1983 and my Mom in 2002. It was tough because I was living in Duluth and they were in Michigan. I know what you are dealing with. You can know your Mom and Dad are together again for eternity. My deepest sympathy to you and your entire family.
Gary
Howard Sprague

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Howard Sprague »

Terribly sorry to hear of your mother's passing, Denny.
Denny

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Denny »

Hello to everyone and all my fellow boatnerds and friends as it is with deepest sadness that I must inform and tell you that today my Mom passed away this morning while in hospice care. It is a very hard and sad day for my family and I as you all can imagine and I am coping and dealing with the loss of Mom as best as I can and I also have my two older brothers to help who have been exceptional and wonderful in helping me get through this most difficult time in my life! It is never an easy thing losing one you love especially one or both of your parents as I'm sure that many other here on this board that read this post can attest. However, it is very comforting to know that she is now in heaven with my Dad and at peace and will never ever have to suffer or be in any pain ever again that's for certain. She has now been called home by God and our Lord and I know that she is safely in God's arms and in his home forever at peace! This week as you all know and can expect will be a very hard and difficult week for my family and I as we prepare to say our final goodbyes to your beloved Mother. I would however like to take the time and opportunity to thank everyone here on this board and with boatnerd for all of their love, kindness, generosity and heartfelt message and prayers as you can never imagine how much they've meant to me and my family at this most difficult time and moment. You all have been exceptionally helpful throughout all of this and I can't say thanks enough for all of your help with this. For as we all know when we lose a loved one, it is never easy but life must go on and as we know it will indeed go on for me as I will forever keep the memories of my parents in my heart and I don't care what anybody says, "Memories can Never be taken away from anyone that is for certain!" My late friend Dick McNeil in Saginaw once told me after my Father's passing, "The pain of losing a loved one so close and dear especially your parents will go away in time but there will also be a hole and emptiness type of feeling in your heart though!" I do know that someday and in time the pain of losing my Mom will go away although life will now be different without her presence but, I also know that she will always be with me as is with my Dad and they are looking down from heaven and are very proud of me and I know that I as well always tried to do my best to make them proud. For I will continue to live my life as best to the fullest as I know that's what they would want for me to do and also to continue my love and passion of the Great Lakes Freighters and ships along with continuing when I can to make trips out along the St. Clair River to see them. That much I can tell you will never die for as long as I live and am healthy enough to do it, I will continue that tradition now and forever and will always be certain to dedicate each trip and any and all ship salutes in memory of my parents. I do know also that in time better days and happier days will come for me and along the St. Clair River as my time will someday come again out there. As I mentioned before in an earlier post, it is so comforting and rewarding to know that I have many friends here on this board that I have made along with corresponded with throughout the years. Rest assured that in time I will also be back on the News Page posting news stories as well for all of you and providing pictures as well. It may be a while so I hope you all understand but, again rest assure that someday I will be back full time here on this website. I would however like to take the time and opportunity to thank Jake H for now doing the Port Reports in my absence as I truly and greatly appreciate and value his time that he's taking in doing those reports. As anyone can tell you it is definitely not easy doing those reports daily and for that again I thank Jake for his time and for volunteering to do those. Thanks again everyone and God Bless and Keep the Faith as well!
Denny

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Denny »

Just to let everyone know that today was another rough and hard day on us seeing and visiting my Mom. She briefly opened up her eyes and saw from what I can gather both my oldest brother and I standing on each side of her. However, now she can't communicate any longer which is making even more harder on us. We both gave her a kiss and told her that we loved her and that's it. She is now being moved into hospice care and unfortunately now her journey and life as we know it here on Earth will soon be ending but as we all know, her journey into Heaven hasn't yet begun and we all know that someday she will be resting in a much better along with more comfortable place that where she is now and that she will someday no longer be in any pain or suffering and that one day she will finally be at peace with all of this and that is basically what we all want at this point is for my Mom to be at peace someday from all of her suffering because nobody deserves to suffer like what my Mom is going through right now and I don't mean to say anything offensive and if I did I deeply apologize for saying that. Within the next week or so I suspect that her time and passing will take place and I know when that time does come, it will not be an easy thing as losing your loved one especially your parents is one of the hardest things to ever have to endure and I am sure I am not alone as far as the feeling of losing your parents. But again it is comforting to know that my Dad is now in a better place and soon my Mom will be as well. I have full faith and trust and confidence in our Lord and Saviour and our Father's decision regarding my Mom as I know they have a plan for her and I trust in God's will for my Mom and his plan for her. Thanks everyone again for your thoughts and prayers and words of encouragement as I appreciate them all. It is so comforting to know that I have many friends that I've made and connected with throughout the years here on this forum and you all have helped me out tremendously through this difficult time in my life and for that I can never thank and repay you for that. God Bless and Keep the Faith and always count your blessings also.
Denny

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Denny »

Thank you so very much Bookworm for those beautiful along with caring and thoughtful words as they are beautiful and most certainly appreciate them. You are correct about the power of prayer as I have been saying plenty of them and thanking our lord along with our Heavenly Father for all his blessings upon my family and I along with my Mother as well. I've prayed for her and to be at Peace along with comfort as she one day makes her journey home and to be reunited someday with my Father in Heaven. Yes you are indeed correct as I know both my Mother and Father loved me dearly and were always happy and proud of me as I mentioned before, they would have been very proud and happy of my big day on the river this week and those along with many other memories I will always cherish especially the times that my Mom and I spent together and the talks along with the conversations that we had. I will always carry the memories of both my parents and as they say, "Memories can never be taken away no matter what!" I also remember my once good and dear friend once Dick McNeil told me after my Dad's passing that I think it went like someday the pain will go away of losing someone so close and dear though you have an emptiness I think in your heart or something to that effect if you know what I mean. Today as you might expect what a hard day for me and fortunately I got a call from a close friend of mind that I last seen in 2010! The point is, I just needed that time and moment to talk to somebody and so glad and thankful he called and we had a nice long talk as well. After that I felt much better from then on. To close, I once heard this said on a TV series and show once about a lady who died. She had written a poem to be said at her funeral and it went something like this, "Remember me with smiles and laughter for that is how I will remember you all and if you can only remember me with tears then do not remember me then at all!" This poem is really amazing when you see and hear it said someday as it came from Little House on the Prairie in the episode Remember Me which starred Patricia O'Neal I think was her name. That TV series btw was always good and my Mom and I enjoyed watching them. Thanks again Bookworm and God Bless you as well as both you and your son Mike are in my thoughts and prayers. I even stopped by our dear friend Lady Pirate's bench at the river on Tuesday and I talked to her for a few minutes. Sure do miss her and she along with many of our departed boatnerds were still here with us. God Bless them all!
Bookworm

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Bookworm »

Denny, I'm so sorry life has become such a long and twisting road for you and your family, but it is encouraging that you can remember the blessings and better times along the way. To know you did your best to help your mom and show her the love and respect she needed are probably the most important gifts you gave her. Despite her fragile physical condition, you know she loves you, and that should give you comfort and get you through whatever lies ahead.
My son, Mike, has lived 9 weeks longer than the oncologist predicted but his liver is failing and his voice is very weak. Still, he is able to be up and is not dependent on oxygen. His mind seems focused (still enjoys computer flight simulator programs) and the pain level has been lowered drastically (from "7" to "3" or "4") by a morphine pump. Oral medications were not helping because the liver couldn't do its job to metabolize them.
My prayer for you is that you feel the love and presence of the Lord and the support of those who are walking with you, if only by their prayers, as you go through this part of your journey.
Denny

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Denny »

Hello everyone as I know it has been a long time since I have done any updates here for you as the past seven weeks have not been easy for me and my brother as far as my Mom's condition along with her health and back surgery stuff. My Mom ended up catching and infection in her back after her first surgery on June 23 and they had to go back in and redo the surgery to remove all of what she had done mainly the hardware and the cage part of what she had put into her back. The second surgery went much better and shorter than the first one but, her health just has been going more and more downhill I am afraid and it's sort of like a Domino effect if you will as anything and everything that could go wrong with her has gone wrong and it just keeps on getting worse. She has been in and out of rehab centers and back and forth to the hospital as well and now the worst part is that her kidneys are failing her and is almost completely done and depleted if you know what I mean? She has been in bed mostly for the past seven weeks and gotten up very little and hardly eaten or drank much. I hate to say and to sound like this but, it's almost as if she has given up and finally made peace with herself through all of this. As you all can imagine it is not easy to see my Mom suffering and agonizing in pain as well all of the time and shouting and screaming and screeching but all of this unfortunately is related to the stroke that she had back on July 1 as that caused some major damage to her unfortunately. I hate to say this all but, I'm afraid that her time and end may be near and it is not easy going through this and to say your goodbye to the ones you love especially when it is your parents as my good and dear friend Dick McNeil from Saginaw told me "You only get one Father and Mother in life so enjoy them and treasure them while you can!" My Mom was very fortunate to have made it to be 75 this year and in that lifespan, she got to see one of three sons get married, have a family and see two Grand Daughters both of which graduating High School. Although she was never fortunate to have met him or know him, she also had a Great Grandson also. My Mom got to travel a lot with my Dad as he loved to travel and 40 years ago this summer we took a trip out West as it was one for a lifetime and I was only 4 but celebrated my 5th birthday while in Gardner, Montana believe it or not. I only wish that I could have been older and remembered that trip more than what I do as the stories my family says of it are one of the ages. My Mom also got to see places here close to home such as Washington D.C. and the many attractions there along with Niagara Falls which anyone can say is one of the most beautiful and spectacular places to visit in the World today. So, when her time does come someday as we all know it will not be easy and there will be struggles and moments and hard along with difficult days ahead I know that I will try to deal with it as best as I can. I am also forever thankful to have two good close brothers who have helped me out tremendously and I also know that I will be provided for and well taken care of as well someday when my Mom is gone. There may be long spells such as now for instance when you don't see my posts both here and on the News Page but, I will always and forever be a boatnerd and a boatwatcher and shipwatcher and that will never cease or end as long as I live for I plan to go on with my life the way that both my Mom and Dad would've wanted and to enjoy traveling up along the St. Clair River to watch the passing ship traffic. So the old saying on the Lower Lakes Ships and flag "Don't Give Up the Ship" you can betcha I will never give up the Ship no matter what the odds are and what happens in life. Thanks everyone for your comforting words and heartfelt comments as I really appreciate them and it helps get me through the difficult moments and times I face as well. I've found that Music is definitely good for the Soul as I have lots of Music I listen to and that has helped with a lot of this also. Many of you I know will tell me "Hang in there and to be Strong and believe I'm doing the best that I can and all that I can do at this point!" My brother even told me today "Denny, you are doing fine and okay and handling this is good as you can for right now!" Thanks again everyone and God Bless and Keep the Faith and as my late Father once said "Count your blessings for what you have!"
Denny

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Denny »

Thanks Dawn as I appreciate your wonderful thoughts along with your words of encouragement. YES, you are correct as it has been a very hard struggle and rough go for my Mom and I but she was having troubles back in November of last year as to where she was in the hospital about 7-8 times or so for blood pressure and sugar issues as both got way to high and out of wack! The back surgery she had was a fusion between the vertebrae of Discs 3 and 4 on her back if I am making any sense here folks? Hopefully anyone that had back surgery or knows about the back, will have some idea to what I am talking about here. The worst part of all however is this past weekend unfortunately she suffered a stroke really bad but, at least she is alert and awake and not on life support thank goodness. She's had some issues with her memory and one side of her has been effected as well. We don't know yet what the outlook will be as it is a long hard road ahead for her and all of us and she will obviously have to go through some form of rehab and other things. I don't like to fill you all in on too much details so I will end it now at this point. She does know and recognize me along with my oldest brother so you don't need to worry about that issue. There has been issues with her as far as pain in her back for a very long time and she's taken lots of medication as well. So, again I ask you all for your prayers and thoughts as my family and I try to help her to recover and get well and strong to where hopefully in the not too distant future she can somehow return home to as much of a normal life as possible. These next few weeks and months ahead will be hard for all of us and needless to say I don't think I will be making it to the river much if at all in 2017 so I hope to be back maybe sometime in 2018. Thanks all for your thoughts and prayers and photos here on boatnerd and on the KYS facebook page. You all have been wonderful this year and glad to see so many of you are able to get out and shoot the passing freighters. As my late father always told me and now I tell you all as well with this message "Always count your blessings as it could be worse!" Thanks again everyone and YES, I agree with Dawn and her words and comments "With faith and prayers and the proper medical staff and team, my Mom is in a very good place and hospital right now and I have full trust and confidence and faith that she will be well taken care of by the hospital and their staff." Thanks again to all of you for your thoughts and prayers. God Bless and keep the faith!
Bookworm

Re: Update from Denny

Unread post by Bookworm »

Denny, you, your mother, and your family are in my prayers. So many major changes for each of you in such a short time, but, as you know, faith, prayers, and good medical care will work together to help your mother regain her health and you to return to a more normal life.
So glad you and your brother could spend time together at the Tiger's game!
Since this is your birthday, I'm attaching a birthday photo for you --taken along the St. Clair River in 2012.
Dawn
Attachments
Paul R. Tregurtha & Manitou 2012-08-17.jpg
Post Reply